I feel like the first day back to work after the Easter weekend is literally one of the crappiest days of the year, only beaten by the first day back in January. Breaking up for Easter bank holiday as an adult is like breaking up for a six week summer as a kid. That said, at this age we are well seasoned hangover sufferers. If hangovers were a person they would be a combination of Joffrey Baratheon and Ramsey Bolton. And that’s saying something considering student hangovers are also beyond awful. Largely due to cheap £1 singles and £2 doubles, and a total lack of regard for your wellbeing.
Maybe I should have saved this post for freshers week, but on Good Friday I suffered one of the worst I’ve had to deal with in a long time. I didn’t even drink that much as far as normal goes, but I looked homeless, spewed up twice, and felt like I had an axe lodged in my head that didn’t shift all day. Seeing the state of pretty much the entire North East today, after bank holiday Sunday, it got me thinking about how to deal with hangovers, and what used to work.
This, my bank holiday go getters, is a list of all the hangover cures I wish still worked:
1. Getting up and having a shower. It sounds like the equivalent of climbing Everest, when all you want to do is lie there, but every single time I got up and had a shower at uni after a full day wallowing in self pity it made me feel so much better. Every single time I wondered why I didn’t just do it sooner.
2. Feeding it. Get on deliveroo, any form of delivery service actually. There will be places that deliver to students that you don’t even realise. Hunt them out and memorise the number. We used to get creme egg or oreo, large, with chocolate buttons on top from Shakey Jakes in Leeds. Haven’t a clue if they’re still there, but they delivered if you spent over a tenner and those things were godsends.
3. My favourite of all of the hangover cures in existence. Get a McDonalds. Worked then, doesn’t work now but it doesn’t stop me getting a full large meal and a cheeseburger for the journey regardless.
4. Go to the pub. Wallow in self pity with everyone else around you feeling the exact same way, it will cheer you up. Drink cider. AVOID spirits unless you want to hurl. This time of year is perfect as the beer gardens are the best place possible for fresh air and all of the above.
5. Painkillers the SECOND you wake up. They aren’t the sort of thing you have lying around as a student, as you’ve relied for eighteen years on your parents never ending supply. Fending for yourself as a student is hard enough just food shopping, let alone anything else.
6. Watching childish/crap TV. We used to lie on the sofa covered in blankets and nap all day amongst X factor re-runs and Disney films. Hangovers as a student really did sometimes feel like the lowest moment, especially on a Sunday when the Sunday blues and homesickness were strong. Sometimes giving in and snivelling like a child made you feel better.
7. Taking photos all night and spending the next day laughing at them. This is probably none existent now, but back when I was at uni, Facebook was just for uni students. We took 1285793597 photos a night, and got so excited when the albums went up the next day. Same nights, same drinks, same people, different outfits, and a different mess every week. Waiting for those albums to go up gave a mixture of dread (were you the mess that week?) and excitement (new profile pic on the cards?). If only we had snapchat filters then.
8. If you’re on antibiotics, for the millionth time thanks to the constant stream of infectious awful germs passed among students, actually LISTEN to your GP and pace yourself. They will make you ten times more drunk, ten times more of a state, and ten times more embarrassed the next day. Don’t do it and save yourself the hassle.
9. Find a park and lie in it in the summer, with a disposable BBQ and a box of ice pops. Just don’t be THAT dick that leaves litter. Nowt worse.
10. If you do make a tit of yourself, vom on yourself, wet yourself, fall over, smash your face off the toilet seat, slip and fell down some stairs, drop your phone down the loo…etc…just accept it happens, apologise to anyone caught in the cross fire, and move on. Those are the best stories when you look back!
So students take note and enjoy these while you can. The worst part about all of these useful student hangover cures isn’t that you didn’t know it back when you needed it, it’s that not a single one of these work AT ALL when you hit 28+. One of my friends has now resorted to eating a raw carrot and softmints these days. Another perk of life at 30.
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